o/` soul searchin'........ o/`

5-13-2007

Listening to Solomon Burke's "Don't Give Up On Me" CD at the moment, from several years ago (2002 Grammy Award Winner - Best Contemporary Blues Album). For the 3rd or 4th time today. It's one of those that when it comes up on the 400 CD Jukebox carousel, it may well get played a few times in repeat. Blues / jazz / soul. What more can you ask for on a Sunday ?

One of the lines in one of the songs really hit me this morning. " the part of me that wants to change, fights the part of me that tries". Wow. I can relate to that. Perhaps it's my tendency to overanalyze everything. Perhaps it's the old tapes in my head replaying the old tunes. Perhaps it's the loss of comfort in being able to devour comfort foods. Perhaps it's the loss of the extra body that allowed me more distance between myself and others. Perhaps it's.......... oops.... there I go, overanalyzing again. I know I have changed. I know I want the change. I know I like the change. I know I want to change more. I know I will change more. What else is there to say ?

Yes, I've been very successful in my change in weight. THIS time around. However, all the previous times were met with inside fighting, and ultimately, the "stay fat" side would win out. While I am determined not to let that happen this time, only time will tell. I rather diligently do my morning stationary bike ride, and my evening walk around the neighborhood, so I am building up some muscle there, and shaping myself somewhat. However, I have been know to stray a bit at times on the food I eat, though not anything like I used to. If I am out to eat, and someone else has a dessert, I may have a bite of it. When at a certain restaurant that's known for it's beautiful bread (and boisterous host), I may well have a small piece of the spinach focaccia, and a piece of the cheddar garlic breads. Plus just a nibble of the whipped potatoes.

Mostly however, I do stick with protein, with some vegetables and fruits. Will it be a challenge to do so on the trip, and especially on the cruise ? I'll certainly find out. I've stuck mostly to the eating plan on other, shorter trips, so I know I can do it. However, I do remember that cruises offer tons of food. Tempting though they may well be, I can still only eat smaller portions (though larger than I used to be able to). I also still have to watch anything sugary, etc., especially on an empty stomach. I therefore rarely, if ever, eat any sweets at all now. And anything greasy, fried, or overly sauced, does not set well with me either. So, as long as I follow Plan A, I'll be fine.

Two weeks from today, I'll be in New York City for 3 nights. I'll then board the Queen Mary 2, and cruise the Atlantic, docking in Southampton, UK. I'll then spend 2 nights in London, 1 night in Ruthin, Wales (in a castle), 2 nights in Manchester, and the last night back in London before returning stateside.

While in NYC, I will see several Broadway shows, and also I'll get to see a fraternity brother from OSU, that I've not seen in 30 years. I'm still trying to track down another friend that used to live in Brooklyn, so hopefully I'll find her and her husband....... if I can remember her married name. I knew her first under her maiden name. If I still had my old computer that crashed a few years back, I'd be able to have all their info. Oh well.

When in London, I'll see a few theatrical shows as well, and of course, some of the tourist sights. No way I can see everything while there, so I'll just see what I can, and that will be fine. I am also excited about getting up to Northern England, and to Liverpool, to see the birthplace of The Beatles. It just seems like a natural pilgrimage to take, after all the influence their music has had on music since then, as well as on my life.

"Yes, there's much in life, for which I could atone....... but let him without sin, cast the first stone...... but before you do..... there's still one more point of view...... on the other side, of the coin......" OK, more quotes, from another Solomon Burke song. "But before you judge me....... if judge you must...... take your time, be sure....... that the verdict is just."

Much of my life, I've spent so sure I knew how others were judging me. Whether due to my weight, or my clothes, or my job, or something I did / said, etc. But what I have come to learn, is that what I was doing, is just guessing, at what I thought, they thought. Hence, I was judging their supposed judging of me, without taking time, to make sure that the verdict was true. Or not.

Solomon Burke, for those not familiar with him, is dubbed The King Of Rock And Soul, and can be found at

http://www.google.com/musicl?lid=k-vVB558FHF&aid=pFty2fxx64B

http://www.rockhall.com/inductee/solomon-burke

He's in the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame.

I just hope to make the Enjoyed A Great Life Hall Of Fame.